Life and Wife

Let me clear that I'm NOT married. And I'm not with "single and looking" status either. But be it or not, at least it seems I have some understanding of how the life could be, in the coming times..

I was watching a hindi movie "Anuradha" (Google Video - Anuradha) , a movie with no glamour no sex no matka-jhatka no item numbers and stunts. Ohh! I forgot to write its made in 1960, its a black-and-white picture. Though old hindi movies even if made 50 yrs ago resemble a lot of our today's life and have lot of meaning and I keep a special liking for them, "Anuradha" somewhat stands out.

I had just started the movie and my mom called up, so I paused it and talked to her. When I mentioned I was watching "Anuradha" she quickly asked "पुराना वाला या कोई नया आया है? ( purana wala ya koi naya aaya hai?)" . Of course, she praised the movie as she does for all her favorites बहुत अछ्छी है, हमारे ज़माने कि hit फिल्म है, तुम्हे भी अछ्छी लगेगी (bahut achchi hai, humare zamane ki hit hai, dekh lo, tumhe bhi achchi lagegi") so I said to myself, "Fine. She knows me more than myself, She's my Mom, lets watch it Now".

Movie starts in the style of back-track, nevertheless, it was easily understandable unlike today's flicks. You like the girl immediately (though she is portrayed to be a singer but has a bad voice in real and perhaps need more training in speaking hindi :D). A girl, married to a doctor, with a mindset of dedication towards society, and, lives in a village. Now, you can easily guess the rest part of it, I mean, what would a girl living in a village gets to live and enjoy, anyway? But the movie goes, and it sort of shows how much it really takes to be a social animal. A woman, who is well educated and full of her own talents but devotes everything for her man, whereas a man, who is a doctor, believes in giving life to the whole dying world and has devoted his life to the service of people.

Somehow it struck to me, life in India is so much different. I think of women who leave (100%-0.1%) their homes and past life, as if, re-incarnated. On the other hand, the man, designs the future and tries to adjust the newcomer somehow in some "corner". Ohh, you got it wrong. The "corner" may also be the whole room sometimes. Indian Life and Indian Wife perhaps come in all varieties and qualities.

Lets take the stereotype, the man working and the woman a housewife (means she is not working). Now, what does this man marry the woman for? Cooking, Washing, Cleaning, Outing, Peace(No and last but not the least, Sex.. err Making Love. What does the woman marry this man for? Well even though that's a million dollar question I would (try to) answer free for u, hmm, Jewellery? Love? Food? Clothes? Fighting? Outing? definitely NOT sex. But then, family seva and satkaar is obvious and not to be mentioned explicitly. Sadly, both their lives become so packed day-to-day that they end up having little of their expections. The Man treats the woman no different than a kaam-wali, and the woman keeps herself engaged in fulfilling her own list of demands. Sometimes, she hopes her service would build a strong respectable image before her husband, but she has realized that this is Life! Still, a woman is the sea of hope. They hope till death.

But there are many not-so-stereotypes also present in the society. Take this, Man working and Woman working. (obviously she is a housewife too). The legacy of being the Owner of house is not left yet, for the man. Even though woman might be earning equal or even more, man is still the Boss. She works and cooks food and takes care of children and all, in short, housewife, while Man enjoys watching T.V. If the Man has mercy, he would take part in work, else, watching TV silently is no less mercy, isn't it? Same pinch. Woman keeps expecting someday her man would realize how difficult it is to manage all this, only to realize later what the Man thinks "Obviously, I can't do it, and, its her duty, isn't it?".

I'm not done yet. In fact, I'm just started. How about the REST of all? The Dictator Woman? some men seems to like dictator women, they make your life much more eventful with your family (सास-बहु-ननद-देवरानी-बाकी कि कहानिया तो आज कल के बच्चों को भी पता है (saas-bahu-nanad-devrani-addMore ki kahaniyan to aaj kal ke bachchon ko bhi pata hai). Of course, many men prefer not to call those "some men" as "men" at all, rather, they are called "Jodu ka Gulam" Then there are love couples who are lost day and night and morning and evening in the eyes of each other, i mean, Love. They had a "real" love marriage, and they love each other so much, that they prefer to do each other's work instead of their own, for example, the man cooks while the lady brings the sabji from market, then they have a candle-light dinner and a hot night. Daily. LOL. There are also types where woman is lattu on the man or the man is lattu on woman. Situation is obvious here, The lattu keeps revolving around to please the other, while the master enjoys having all sorts of other fun. There are lots of such small small types you'd find around and huge variations in them. But then, there is one special type, very special, the rarest of all, the Real Social Animal, and the Devotee.

They are not too rare. Not hard to find, actually, they are easily spotted than others. You must be knowing at least one such kind in your locality as well. The Man who believes in being a social animal. He believes in the society he lives in, the importance of neighbours, doodhwala, paperwala and also lattuwala. He puts his family on stake, and takes his woman for granted. He believes that the pain of other people is more painful than his own beings. He believes its important to feed others than feeding his own children. He believes in paying or lending money to the needy, though his own kids might be studying on loans or craving to pay their fees. He believes in gifting a shirt-pant to a poor man, even though his woman dreamt of a new saree long back. He believes in the social service.

But what about the woman? The greatness of her man has not left her untouched. It fills pride in her too. Unlike other woman, she builds a similar image to her man. She is also regarded high in the society. Not just being a wife of a great man, She maintains her own identity. She believes in daan and dakshina for poor. She believes in serving good food for others, even though her own kids might be eating the plain dal-roti-rice. She would save every penny to buy a new shirt for her man, even though she knows her man would rarely buy her another saree. The great respect for her man makes her very much like a Devotee, a Dasi. Yes, unlike others, she does not have a hope. She left it within months of her marriage. It didn't take her too long to understand her man.

"Anuradha" is the story of the very much the same man and woman. Ironically "woman" part is not portrayed well though movie is named after her. But the picture of the man is quite clear. Same old freak, जिसने जिन्दगी में कई ठोकरें खाई पर हर ठोकर को महसूस किया और समझा कि ये ठोकर किसी और को भी लग सकती है, उसने प्रण किया कि उसे यह ठोकरें हटानी हैं| (jisne zindagi mein kayi thokaren khayi par har thokar ko mahsus kiya hai aur samjha ki yeh thokar kisi aur ko bhi lag sakti hai. Usne pran kiya ki use yeh thokaren hatani hai), the man whose life is shaken so deeply, that he has taken the charge of being the "rarest of all", yes, the Real Social Animal.


  1. what are you trying to say :)
    you support a working women/housewife ? Also whats the full story of the movie :)

  2. well.. seeing the rising prices of every alu-matar in india, i wud definitely prefer a working wife and silently accepting as housewife also :D
    story of the movie? man.. u need to watch it.. if i disclose the story too much i may end up doing copyright violations u see ;-)

  3. "prefer a working wife and silently accepting as housewife also"
    one itself is too much for you..You are thinking abt 2..One working wife and one house wife :)

  4. mani dude they are TWO in ONE.. don't try to implant bad thoughts on me.. i'm still ON-THE-LINE.. lol

  5. Though I appreciate your exercise of organizing the relationships in some 'types'; I think each relationship is unique and making conclusions (even after experience with few girls) would be naive.

  6. dude i'm not a marriage counselor so dont blame me.. and my blog was'nt reflecting the types of marriages and all either (though i put them like cook put masala in curry :D)...

    my stress was to reflect the difficult life of couples who are not financially great but still believe in total social service.. of course, under the excuse of writing review of Anuradha.. :)

  7. kiske ghar mein jhagda kerwane ke liye ye blog likha hai.. :P

  8. mote.. tu shadi kab kar rhaa hai??? kaun sa type ka hai tu? dictator type wala hia tera :D lol..